The Unicorn Marketers 🦄
We Like To Be Unique.. And Different.
We Take Your Business From Barely Living..
To Exploding & Thriving.
Hi, I’m Caleb. 👋
I've always loved the “about me” page on websites like this because they’re written in the third person …even though they’re typically written by the owner of the site.
"So, after Caleb Burns made several attempts to sound smarter than he really is by writing about himself in the third person, he quickly abandoned that approach and decided to write this page like it was a letter to a friend."
Which …in many ways, it is.
Anyhoo – what would you like to know?
I’m 24 years old. I live in small town Ashland, Ohio with my beautiful bride and business partner, Tecca and 2 (wild) boys, Sage & Ari. Between the 2 kids, 2 cats, and hyperactive great pyrenees/husky puppy.. Our life is needless to say in the least a bit crazy at times.
But I’m guessing that’s not the kind of stuff you’re here for.
You’re probably wondering,
"Is this guy worth my time and attention?"
And for most of the readers, my answer is...
"...But Caleb, isn't your job to convince me on your simple 3-step system that will get me results overnight and I'll never have to do anything again?"
Here's the thing...
I cannot help you get rich quick.
For some reason, people translate “promote my business online” to “get rich quick”.
I get it. That’s what attracted me to online marketing in 2013 (more on that later).
You see.. I thought it would be easy money and I’d have thousands coming in every day … predictably on autopilot.
(Ever heard that before? Ha.)
it wasn't easy money. (liars)
In fact, it was the hardest thing I've ever learned in my life.
Now, don't get me wrong. I do have consistent revenue coming in every day
…and often "predictably on autopilot"
…but the journey to get there took insane amounts of work, frustration, learning, and perseverance to get there.
…and it still takes work to keep it all running.
So if you’re not prepared to commit to a little more effort than the online dream is selling you.
I’m not your guy.
If you don’t want to market or advertise your business..
you might as well stop reading this right now.
And no, I don’t sell advertising. But here’s why I say this..
Smart marketing & advertising works. It's the foundation of every successful business.
The next trending strategy or tactic to get peoples money doesn't work.
If you haven't already.. Just start going down the “Online Marketing” rabbit hole, and you’ll see all kinds of ads, articles, social media posts, and blogs on:
- How to get free traffic!
- How to get rich by having other people promote your product!
- The simple 3 step system to automating your business!
...and all kinds of other hype on the “latest loopholes” or “hacking the system”.
Does some of it work?..
Maybe. 🤷♂️ In the short term.
But if that's what you're relying on to grow your business, then you don’t have a business.
You have an income stream that’s supported by an unsustainable gimmick.
And quite frankly, that's a waste of time.
(If you want to waste time, go binge on Netflix or a tub of Ben & Jerry's. It’s way more fun.)
Lastly, If you're looking for "The Easy Way", I don't want to help you.
Let me make sure I make this clear.
I could help you, I just choose not to. I’m capable of it, but I refuse to do it.
"Caleb, that seems like a stupid way to do business"
"Why on earth wouldn't you take someones money to show them your secrets?"
Because when I hear someone say, “What’s the easiest way?”, what I’m really hearing is, “I’m not fully invested in the long term success of my own business …and am therefore not fully invested in the long term success of my customers.”
And that really translates to “I don’t want to work”.
"You're just a jealous lazy bum." -Rocky
Look.. online marketing is HARD WORK.
Yes, when it’s all up and running, it can be just like you imagined:
Passive revenue and money while you sleep.
...But to get there, it takes HARD WORK to create and it takes HARD WORK to maintain.
HARD WORK HARD WORK HARD WORK.
Did I scare ya?... Ya Still Here? Cool.
Here’s what you can expect from me.
Actionable strategies and tactics you can use in your business right now, for free
…which are usually followed by... Drum roll....
Blatant sales pitches.
"Wait.. Did he really just flat out tell me he's gonna sell me something?"
Yer darn right I did.
Why wouldn’t I tell you?
I mean c’mon... I’m an “online marketing guru”. That's how I feed the ravenous mouths of my tiny humans.
I will try to sell you something and I won’t be subtle about it.
However – it’s always preceded by extremely valuable strategies and tactics you can use immediately.
The idea is that you’ll say, “Man, this free stuff really helped me. I think I’ll try the paid stuff.”
Pretty simple, right?
I call it the old “Demonstrate You Can Help Them By Actually Helping Them” trick.
Works like a charm.
But you still might be wondering …
"How Do I Know If Your Stuff Is Any Good?"
Well, the smartest thing to do is for us to grab a "digital coffee", and we'll hop on a call to see if we're compatible.....
(In business.. get your mind outta the gutter)
If we feel like we're the right fit, you’ll probably love what we actually deliver.
If we don't, we won’t.
You can do that simply by clicking here:
(I'll even send you a virtual Starbucks coffee for your time☕)
And as far as the doing the whole “self-glorifying biography” thingy.. here it goes:
I started my “Internet Marketing” career in 2013. I became a personal trainer and nutrition coach and after discovering for myself how difficult it was to attract and get new clients for myself.. I found myself stuck back in the position of working another job just to make ends meet...
And after years of finding myself trying to become a successful entrepreneur..
but having failed business attempt after failed business attempt...
I was ready to be done.
I believed the riches of the internet were only for the greatest minds.
... But something deep inside me knew that there had to be an answer out there somewhere to how this online landscape was working for others.
I mean.. There couldn't be THAT many geniuses in the world.. Could there?...
So here's poor little me, broke as a joke working a job I hate.
As I'm mindlessly scrolling through the Facebook feed during my shift, I stumble upon the one ad that changed my life forever.
There they were. A young married couple traveling the world, making buttloads of cash using these predictable online selling methods, and doing this job together on their time.
BOOM. Gimme Gimme.
They had EXACTLY what I had been searching for this whole time.
So, I opt-in, watch a short video to learn more about it, then an application later, I get the chance to schedule a call with these guys,
Booked it. Finally. It's my time to have the internet freedom of the world's greatest minds.
I get on the call and damn, was it good.
They helped me find clarity and had exactly what I needed. I was ready to do this.
Then I got the sales pitch...
"We'll teach you these methods. It's gonna be hard work. But the payoff is worth it all"
It's normally $6000 but if you make a decision on the call today it's just $4,500.
My heart sank.. How in the world was I going to convince my wife that this was the opportunity we'd been looking for when there was like.. $600 in our bank account and some pocket lint?
Frantically, I asked him if payments were possible and for 24 hours to respond and talk it over with my wife. He agreed and we ended the call.
I must have read the sales letter 20 times, watched the testimonies, and Googled anything I could to state my case to my wife.
It was a good.. no. GREAT opportunity. But somewhere along the line my 20 year old brain translated It's gonna be HARD WORK to...
“You’ll get rich really fast if you do this and you'll never have to work hard again!”
(Remember that guy I said I wouldn't help earlier? The one who just wanted the easy way and didn't want to work?.. Yeah. That was me back then.)
Boy, was I in for a rude awakening.
...Fast forward through the spouse conversation, somehow my wife ended up agreeing.
(Still to this day not sure how, lol)
And the next day, there I was sending over my first payment to my new mentors.
My first coaching program as an internet newbie cost me $4,500 Smackaroos broken into $500 payments.
(Remember how there was only like $600 bucks in my bank account? Yeah, you do the math..)
Now here I am. Venturing onto my new role as a "Successful Digital Marketer with all the secrets"!
So in 2015, I launched Vertex Social - an online marketing agency to help businesses scale with online marketing.
I was going to achieve marketing wizard success
...But I didn't achieve success in the first 30 days.
Or 90 days..
Or even the first 6 months.
It wasn't until almost 1 year later that I even brought on my first client.
(which was my employer at the time..So does that even count?)
I remember vividly being ready to quit every month because I had no idea how I would afford the next payment.
But I found a way, and I did it.
My mindset began to shift, I began to grow, and I became the person I needed to become to help others achieve success.
And now, after years of trial and error, I finally started to achieve real success online.
And that’s how I got my start as a “marketing guru”.
..Fast forward to today and we've got clients all around the world that we're helping achieve 5, 6, and even 7-figures in revenue for their business.
I’m the “go to guy” for doctors, gyms, dentists and all kinds of other small businesses when it comes to online marketing.
And Here’s What I Will Help You With, Specifically
My main focus is to help you turn advertising into profit.
I created the Profitable Clinics System for doctors & the Leadgen Blueprint for local businesses.
Really, just a fancy way of saying,
"We help your business get a buttload of paying customers and leave you to do what you do best..
Run your friggin business."
It is, in my opinion, the best thing since sliced bread.
We also help you focus on your positioning.
Another fancy way to say, “We Get People To Like You Before You Try To Sell Them Something.”
And we do this by showing you the best way to genuinely help your prospects before they see your pitch.
So, Here’s My First Sales Pitch To You:
Go to my calendar and book a time for our digital coffee date. 📲☕
And if we think we're a good fit for each other, consider partnering with us when I make you an offer.
Pretty simple, right?
Thanks for taking the time to read this post,
Now... get to WORK!
— Your Friendly, Neighborhood Marketer